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June 15 2017

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eastcoastslang:

im in the mood to receive a check for six hundred thousand dollars 

moami:

what, with all due respect, the absolute fuck

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myfavoritedemons:

Prayers to Venus:

I work at the Getty Villa, and as part of our summer Roman Holidays event, we have an altar to Venus set up, with blank tags so that people can leave prayers to her. I’m not sure if the museum expected the response we’ve gotten, but it’s been really lovely and touching to read all the prayers.

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June 14 2017

caffeinatedfeminist:

Your daughters do not exist to give you grandchildren

sprookyloser:

Don’t be a religious suburban white mom about it

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portsherry:

Surprise.

Self-driving cars roam wild! Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is the president now! 

[Website] [Facebook] [Twitter] [Instagram] [Spanish]

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cleaveyourjaw:

Honestly, the Babadook officially being recognized as a gay icon is the greatest thing to happen so far in 2017.

bleachdalilah:

thtwhitegurrl:

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?

PLEASE EXPLAIN

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linssweater:

This thread omg

daftplunk:

If you ever hear me breathe deeply it’s not because I’m annoyed it’s because I forget to breathe sometimes

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beardedsith:

cheeze225:

I agree with both these statements immensely.

I totally had to do the thing

broodingsoul:

amandaseales:

curiouscarson:

toocutetopay:

akai-kaede:

nilesymon:

i wonder if magic is real, but only in a really mundane way.

when i was little i could almost inerringly switch back to disney channel right as the ads ended when i was channel surfing.

maybe youve never accidentally crushed a ladybug underfoot. maybe your microwave popcorn never burns. maybe you can spin around lots and lots of times before you get dizzy.

is that magic??

honestly im not sure if these are magic or just small, invisible skills. im not sure which i like better.

My ankles never twist.  I’ve always been rather active, I did track for five years (all the running events), and one time while running I stepped in a hole, lost my shoe, and landed sprawling about five feet away.  I pulled my shoe on and kept running.

I have a coworker who somehow makes better coffee than everyone else even though the grounds come pre-measured and all you have to do is load them up and push a button.  I have a friend who has inch long nails that never break.  My brother can copy origami just by looking at the finished product and my mother can do the same with knots.  I knew a guy who never made an error when typing.

Maybe we all have little magics, the kind that you don’t realize you have.  Just tiny things that make your life slightly better but are completely unnoticed on the outside.

this is the cutest post i have ever read…

Nooo I’ve actually shared this theory before. Like my Dad is really lucky finding parking spaces. And I’ve never cracked my phone even though I drop it on the time and have an average case. Like what if everybody gets one trivial part of their life that they’re illogically lucky at?

“Little magics”

I never, ever fall. I only ever *almost* fall.

killaidanturner:

poorunfortunategirls:

killaidanturner:

with all of these movie reboots i would like to pitch a mean girls reboot staring Chris Evans, Chris Pine, Chis Hemsworth, and Chris Pratt

You mean heathers

No I mean mean girls. If I wanted heathers I would have said heathers. Mean girls. No context as to why. Just grown men in high school. Same lines. Literally nothing has changed. Amy Poehler is still the mom. Chris Hemsworth sees another guy wearing cargo shorts and asks him where he got them, the boy says they were hand me downs from his big brother. Hemsworth calls them vintage and then immediately turns around and says they’re he ugliest effing cargo shorts he’s ever seen. This is what I meant

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